limit yourself

JUMPY THE 3rd

“These scientists were doing scientific studies and research stuff on fleas. They kept these fleas in magical Mason jars that must have had some kind of porous substance since they allowed airflow, but there weren’t any holes in the jars. Otherwise, fleas being so minuscule, would have escaped. Not that they hated being observed, poked and prodded by the scientists, but it’s simply in their nature to move from one dwelling to another.”

This is a story I’ve heard numerous times through my education. One of those stories with a moral, an educational story to prove a point. One could say it’s a long metaphor about life.

“The scientists were astonished by how high these fleas could jump. Actually, Bob, the head scientist, feeling all creative labeled the fleas Jumpy. Jars were numbered 1 through 5 and thus creating Jumpy the 1st, Jumpy the 2nd, and so on. Bob being a typical and classical scientist was a left-brained functioning individual who considered alternatives to recipes a waste of time. Creativity was not his strong suit.”

I love this story, can’t you tell by the way I am making it mine? This flea story is my bitch – it will do as I say and we don’t even need a mercy word. Or is it called a safe word? Not sure, being that I’ve only observed BDSM in movies and on television. Which isn’t true, my best friend from back home was into that stuff. Oh the stories he would tell… Whoo, I suddenly feel the need to fold a sheet of paper into a fan and fan myself away.

“Bob loved Jumpy the 3rd the most. This was mainly because Bob himself was a middle child. Daily, at 4:45 pm his anxiety attacks would creep up from within. If he could, Bob would have taken Jumpy the 3rd home with him. NBC’s Must Watch TV on Thursday nights weren’t nearly as interesting as watching Jumpy the 3rd jump. First to sign in at work, and last to leave he could not tear his eyes away from the middle jar until he shut the light and closed the door.”

If you asked me, I’d say Bob needed a love in his life. That or psychotherapy. But that’s only if you asked me…

“Leaving Jumpy the 3rd alone became such an ordeal he chose to do what was necessary. He purchased a webcam, created a website, and kept the camera on Jumpy the 3rd 24-7. One could say Jumpy the 3rd was actually the very first ever reality tv star. Bob kept his modem on, and his computer always kept a live stream of Jumpy’s activities. Such was Jumpy the 3rd’s life.”

Considering I first heard this story in the early 80s is proof that – it is a true story. Webcams in the 80s? The word did not even exist yet. Neither did the internet. But I was young then, and very gullible, I never questioned the webcam concept.

“One night, after Bob’s eyes lost sight of Jumpy the 3rd, and he was home watching a re-run of The Big Bang Theory he stopped by his computer on his way to fill his glass of electrolyte infused water. Miguel, the company’s janitor, must have been on sick-leave because he did not recognize the janitor handling Jumpy the 3rd’s jar. ‘Nooooo! Put it down! Who ever asked you to touch my babies!!!’ yelled Bob over and over to his computer monitor.”

Did I say I heard this story in the 80s? When did they start taping the Big Bang Theory show?

“Miguel’s replacement janitor removed the lid from the jar and whipped the inside with a cleaning rag. ‘No-o-o-o-o-ohhhh’ yelled a crying Bob. But then the weirdest thing happened. With his webcam controls, Bob zoomed in to the jar which had been left uncapped by Miguel’s replacement. Jumpy the 3rd survived the wipe down. Jumpy the 3rd did not escape. Jumpy the 3rd just jumped and jumped. Each jump reaching new heights. Each jump far surpassing the previous jump. Bob never, in a million years, thought Jumpy the 3rd had any capacity to jump but one inch below the lid. Now Jumpy the 3rd was jumping 2-3 times the height of the jar itself.”

Like most ideas I’ve had in life: this story sounded much better in my head.

“Bob was astounded! Simply shell shocked! Although Jumpy the 3rd’s previous jumping record being 172 times his own height, Jumpy the 3rd could actually quadruple his own record now that he was no longer held back by a low ceiling.”

And the moral of the story is – don’t drink and drive.

…………………………
Stop setting limits on yourself and others. You’ve no idea how high you can leap…

14 thoughts on “JUMPY THE 3rd”

  1. Snicker. I’ve never heard this story before, possibly because I always groan and run from the room when morality tales are presented. But this one, the way you have told it, gets an exception. If nothing else, it’s freaking hilarious.

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  2. Oh, I love this. I heard a version of this one somewhere in life, either passed down via a distant aunt or in an email once, but your narration was SO MUCH BETTER. Also, yes. poor Bob definitely needs a romantic interest. Maybe one day you can rewrite it to include a Mrs. Bob who also has a thing for bugs??

    Hope this finds you well, Marie! XOXO

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  3. Oh, I love this. I heard a version of this one somewhere in life, either passed down via a distant aunt or in an email once, but your narration was SO MUCH BETTER. Also, yes. poor Bob definitely needs a romantic interest. Maybe one day you can rewrite it to include a Mrs. Bob who also has a thing for bugs??

    Hope this finds you well, Marie! XOXO

    Like this

  4. This story is new to me. Of course, it helps when trying to reach new heights if someone forgets to put your lid back on.

    It’s “safe word” by the way.

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    1. I NEEEED to go and read you more Joanne! Actually, I need to go and read more blogs, my life has been insane! Thanks for the compliment!

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    1. In my ongoing battle to develop and fine tune my capacity to constructively offer criticism I’d say your abilities to comment are fairly poor and need polishing. Ha! I’m JUST KIDDING!

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