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Mexico… and Beyond?

Although it looks used – we haven’t used this trusty old thing enough. Yet.

Looks like we MAY be leaving. Again. I just don’t like how things are turning out for me here. It’s not just the job thing, its simply not being sure how or where I fit in. The timing may not have been right for our return to San Diego. We only came back because I wanted to. And what with the expenses of being here just so I can be a derby girl (let’s be honest – THAT is the main reason why I wanted to come back) just doesn’t jive with our dwindling savings. The cost of fuel alone is giving me weekly heart attacks at the gas station!

You know what they say, if you need to force it to happen then it just may not be the right thing. But who is this they who keep saying all these highly resonating things that always force me to take action?

So yeah… I do have a contract that ends on the first week of November. And then it may be a bon voyage once more for us. Only thing is this time we count on doing it right:

  1. Not stop and spend 3 months where it’s still pretty cold (I’m looking at you La Paz)
  2. Not look back at what I left behind but look forward to new and totally exciting adventures (Don’t taunt me too much Tahiti – you know I know your language)
  3. Leave behind the stuff we don’t need (sorry derby gear, you’re staying in San Diego, I need to make room for all my pretty dresses – bwahahaha)
  4. Stock up on important necessities (handheld VHF radio, remote control for the autohelm, etc. rather than a vee-birth full of chips and pretzels – ok, so it will still be full of chips and snacks but at least if we have a remote control we can change path as we munch down on carbs and greasy stuff…)

That’s it. I think. Not sure. But I don’t think you care that I’m in the process buying a fruit hammock online do you? Or that I want to call local places and see if they sell them but I’m so afraid I’ll accidently ask for a banana hammock that I may just incur the shipping fees of buying online – do you want to hear about that?

I just feel bad for dropping my derby peeps – when I returned I dove head first into derby and took on extra engagements only to say bye-bye a few months later is kinda sucky. One thing for sure though (well, 50% sure) is that THIS time when we come back we’ll be coming back because we both want it.

Hopefully we’ll both be ready to attack this bitchin of an amazing city. And you know what? If things haven’t fallen into place by now, I need to trust that it’s just not meant to be. So I’m doing a trust fall into the Pacific Ocean, just hope the dolphins catch me and not something else. Or maybe if it is something else like a sea lion that’s ok, or a mermaid, or even Leo can catch me. I just don’t want some weird freaky and famished creature with a huge open mouth and sharp sharp teeth willing to catch me and swallow me. I don’t want to be swallowed. I don’t think being swallowed is a skill I need to add to my resume. Not at this point. Maybe later. Maybe never.

And who knows, if the Mayans really are on to something then do I want to have spent my last months working at Trader Joe’s stocking the shelves with their new and tasty organic corn chips? If it was wine or cheese, that would be different.

I’m rambling. Only because I’m emotional. Yeah right. I always ramble. I’m a rambler.

I love you San Diego and let’s make this last month here really cool. Like lot’s of derby. Lot’s of laughter. And let’s make everybody jealous of all the crap we do by posting lot’s and lot’s of pictures on Facebook and Instagram because I’ll be without for a while…

That’s it for now. I have some crying shopping to do.

………………………
I’ll be honest with you – this was an email I sent to my friends this morning. I decided to make a post of it. It’s pretty much where I’m at right now. Crazy hunh?

10 thoughts on “Mexico… and Beyond?”

  1. I LIKE that you’re a rambler, Marr. It’s not who you are, but I like that you do it. I enjoy riding along! Also, “fruit hammock?” I’m disappointed with where my mind took that, but yeah, good luck in your search, I guess?

    Sometimes the journey isn’t what we thought it would be but if we don’t take it, we can’t get to where we’re supposed to be. That sounds like something I should be citing a source on, but I think I just made it up.

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  2. I understand how you’re feeling. After six years of working seasons overseas, four years ago I made the big decision to move back to the UK. It was one of the hardest choices I’ve ever had to make. Just like you’re going to miss your derby (which by the way I think is awesome!), I couldn’t imagine my summers without Greek beaches and my winters without skiing every day. Do you know what, though? I’ve found other things here in Wales to replace them. My summers are now full of camping trips with my godson and my friends, and I’ve taken up climbing to fill the void that skiing left behind. It’s hard to move on, but just think of all the great adventures you’re still to have :)

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  3. travel well…there is wisdom in the not forcing it too…and a lot less tension as well when you both choose…go have fun…re-entry is hard…i have been there…and it takes a while….

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  4. I can’t quite tell if you sound better or not, maybe just different, or as though you saw that the light just happened to be at the end of a different tunnel?

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  5. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do… or so they say ;)

    By the way, you may not want a dolphin to catch you. I read recently that some of them are attracted to humans & try to mate with any they come across in the water.

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  6. DO it. And before you go, decide your travel plans. And contact a travel rag like … I bet there’s one called “Sail” I just bet it. And propose a series to the editor in which you scope out the most intimate local spots and lure many modern americans with your life, which for most of us is a fucking PIPE DREAM. Seriously.

    Do it.
    Write it.

    And the mermaid, and the sea lion, and the dolphin, and even leo are not going to catch you.

    You are going to catch you.l

    And you’re going to fucking swim.

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  7. Sorry to hear things haven’t turned out as great as you had hoped but all you can really do is say been there tried that moving on to bigger and better things………..

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  8. I think it’s awesome that you have the opportunity to take adventures and land wherever you want to. Some day you’ll discover your place, until then ENJOY it all… Wherever you go, whatever you do, I hope to see an occasional post here or on FB.

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