Because I am still a woman-of-the-people, I start my day (followed by a deep tissue massage by my hunk Leo – of course this goes without saying) at Panera Bread Co. and prepare my world-famous-secret-recipe Marie-Wich. I know, it makes me sound like a witch, but trust me, one bite into my sandwich and you’ll be wondering why I’m not
a participant on running Hell’s Kitchen and think I had to use witchcraft to make such a creation.
Towards the end of my woman-of-the-people shift, my derby peeps roll in and improvise a live flash mob derby demo in the middle of the restaurant. Plates crash, coffee is spilt, the boss looks at me with an angry face, I raise my leg over the counter and show my skate. He laughs, wags a finger in my direction and picks up the mess. He’s my bitch. And that’s why I love him. That and I am a woman-of-the-people…
I back up and do a double foot-jump over the counter and join in on the derby fun. As I’m doing a perfect transition (this goes without saying), they remind me of our lunch at that cool car-booth restaurant. Since I know you’ve seen Pulp Fiction, I don’t need to waste words describing the place – yeah it’s THAT place and (a) of course it exists in real life and (b) it’s in San Diego. Duh.
Rob Dyrdek (from Fantasy Factory – keep up) has been begging us for over a year now to teach him to play
dirty derby so he can feature a He VS She derby bout at the Factory. Let’s be real here. Men and derby? Pfff. They only wish they could skate like a girl. The only reason we agreed to meet him is because he’s footing the bill and he’s bringing Tony Hawk. They’re hoping he’ll be the jammer, ha! Funny right?
I order the five dollar milk shake and a ribeye. Bloody as hell. Goes without saying. Throughout the lunch Rob is impressed with my improvisational skills and my wit. Why wouldn’t he be? I have him laughing so hard, he starts to pee his pants as soon as he sees me open my mouth to say something. I tell him to calm down and offer him a package of Depends. He offers me a contract. With my cold hand from holding the five dollar milk shake we seal the deal. Of course he grabs the Depends. I now find myself in charge of all social media for the Fantasy Factory.
I wonder how I can swing that job with my woman-of-the-people morning job and my night job planning and organizing all of San Diego’s LIVE downtown festivities. Then I remember, it’s my fantasy and of course I have behind me a wonderful and competent staff of 20! They’ll pick up the pieces.
We roll out of the restaurant. Rob has a huge butt. Is he wearing the Depends or is that just how it is for a skateboarder? Tony (Hawk, I haven’t forgotten he was there, but Rob was monopolizing the conversation) runs up to me and wonders if I’d like to join him and his family for an afternoon paddleboard ride. Of course. It goes without saying. He wants me to mentor his daughter into becoming a strong, independent and badass
woman chick. I laugh and answer “Take a number”. He’ll be in touch with my people.
I have blogs to read.
Finally I get away from my never ending social demands and sit at home, in the comfort of my boat and brew the perfect cup of coffee and read Abby. Ah the sweet funny Abby and her issues, let’s see if she can help me forget about the hectic social demands of my life…
Abby wrote a post labelled A Day in the Life. I felt immediately and spontaneously prompted to write my dream day. I mean what the heck, it’s Sunday and I’d rather sit here and write instead of doing all the cool stuff I dream of doing. Wait, what?
I’ll be paddleboarding all afternoon. How else am I going to become a mentor for young girls? Reality or Fiction?
p.s. Don’t I look über freaky in my header picture? Leo took that in Disneyland in front of a really cool pretend city – it’s all fake! A fantasy city for a fantasy day. I’m cool like that.