I’m a happy person. Often times it seems like I’m the only person in the world who is simply happy. I have happy thoughts. When I meet new people I assume they are wonderful, lead a great life and are successful at what they do. That’s because I always assume the best of everybody. Where most see flaws, I see qualities. I look at a junkyard and think of the cool treasures I could find. When it rains I rejoice in the coolness it brings. When it snows I start waxing my board.
I smile a lot. I’m a smiley person. And I think this is my biggest enemy. People look at my big goofy smile and wonder… What is she smiling about? Is she a complete idiot? She doesn’t even know me! Is she planning on doing something terribly bad? Is she laughing at me? That bitch! Who does she think she is? I should give her a piece of my mind!
In today’s society we associate sense of criticism with intellect. And if this is accurate, then ipso de facto we associate positive attitude with ignorance and stupidity.
Most people have hidden agendas. Most want to gain from others rather than give for the simple joys of giving. We’re drawn to those we label as complete whack jobs. And I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.
I have a natural tendency to want to make people feel good about themselves. I openly offer compliments. When I see something I like, I share it. Even if that means telling a woman I’ve never met how much I love her hair. You’d think the reaction would be positive. Instead it creates doubt and méfiance or distrust.
The people I find to have the worst sense of integrity and honesty are the ones most often surrounded by friends. Entire groups of friends! They never wonder what they’ll be doing during the weekend. Their social calendars fill up quickly and easily. Again, I just don’t get it. I’ve been without a phone for nearly six months. Although I’ve warned my family and a few friends – not a single person has emailed me asking why my phone is disconnected. Not a peep about my phone line. Why? Because nobody has obviously tried to reach me.
I just don’t get it. Am I trying too hard? Should I start snickering when people say something foolish rather than put myself in their shoes trying to understand their point of view? Talking about shoes… is that the problem? Because if I know one thing, its that if you don’t own the right footwear, it really can make or break a person.
I often wish I possessed a secret power to hear people’s inner thoughts. That way I could truly know why I am rather quite friendless. How can I be such a happy person yet feel like an utter loser at times?