I Have a Sneaky Suspicion my Happiness is Trying to Sabotage my Success

Smiling… Always smiling.

I’m a happy person. Often times it seems like I’m the only person in the world who is simply happy. I have happy thoughts. When I meet new people I assume they are wonderful, lead a great life and are successful at what they do. That’s because I always assume the best of everybody. Where most see flaws, I see qualities. I look at a junkyard and think of the cool treasures I could find. When it rains I rejoice in the coolness it brings. When it snows I start waxing my board.

I smile a lot. I’m a smiley person. And I think this is my biggest enemy. People look at my big goofy smile and wonder… What is she smiling about? Is she a complete idiot? She doesn’t even know me! Is she planning on doing something terribly bad? Is she laughing at me? That bitch! Who does she think she is? I should give her a piece of my mind!

In today’s society we associate sense of criticism with intellect. And if this is accurate, then ipso de facto we associate positive attitude with ignorance and stupidity.

Most people have hidden agendas. Most want to gain from others rather than give for the simple joys of giving. We’re drawn to those we label as complete whack jobs. And I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

I have a natural tendency to want to make people feel good about themselves. I openly offer compliments. When I see something I like, I share it. Even if that means telling a woman I’ve never met how much I love her hair. You’d think the reaction would be positive. Instead it creates doubt and méfiance or distrust.

The people I find to have the worst sense of integrity and honesty are the ones most often surrounded by friends. Entire groups of friends! They never wonder what they’ll be doing during the weekend. Their social calendars fill up quickly and easily. Again, I just don’t get it. I’ve been without a phone for nearly six months. Although I’ve warned my family and a few friends – not a single person has emailed me asking why my phone is disconnected. Not a peep about my phone line. Why? Because nobody has obviously tried to reach me.

I just don’t get it. Am I trying too hard? Should I start snickering when people say something foolish rather than put myself in their shoes trying to understand their point of view? Talking about shoes… is that the problem? Because if I know one thing, its that if you don’t own the right footwear, it really can make or break a person.

I often wish I possessed a secret power to hear people’s inner thoughts. That way I could truly know why I am rather quite friendless. How can I be such a happy person yet feel like an utter loser at times?

21 thoughts on “I Have a Sneaky Suspicion my Happiness is Trying to Sabotage my Success”

  1. i like your out look on life i do the same tell people I don’t know i like there outfit or like the other day i told this guy I liked is tattoos they all look at me like i’m nuts. i wish I understood people better but i don’t

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    1. I think I’ll never understand them. My blog says I’m not a monkey, but maybe I am? Because I don’t feel like one of them, a people!

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  2. not at all…understanding and empathy are much needed in our world…and maybe it is treatening to some to have to face someone that has a bit instead of the status quo….i love people so…smiles.

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  3. Maybe they’re afraid of bringing you down. I saw a lady at the pool last summer, she had to be six years pregnant and ready to heave out a kindergartener, and she was ROCKING a bikini. I mean ROCKING it. So I told her so. She was so happy. But I randomly told somebody in the store yesterday “Omigod I love your glasses?” And she fled the other way without saying a word. I wanted to say “What? I am NOT hitting on you.”

    Sounds like we have a lot in common. (Except you may smile more than I do. I’m just very intense. I smile when I’m happy, I glower when I’m not, and I don’t seem to have any “in between”.

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    1. We started talking with this couple, and we really got along with them like crazy. So we invited them for a weekend on our boat. Ends up they were afraid we were hitting on them to swing with us. So yeah… I know the feeling of wanting to yell at people “I’m not hitting on you!”

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  4. You are a treasure.

    My boyfriend is very much like you and I find it amazing and inspiring to be around someone who is so genuinely happy.

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  5. Personally, I think people like us (I’m the same way) scare them off. Many people cannot bring themselves to be outgoing and pleasant. It’s just not in their nature. Call it jealousy or fear, they envy us.

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    1. Yeah, maybe… A few people have told me that I’m the person they most admire and how they kind of almost feel too daunted to call me (?)

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  6. You know, I have to go with Gramps on this one. I’m not saying it’s all you by any means but everyone else might be wondering the same thing. “Why hasn’t she called?” Plus, I do think that people who exude happiness most of the time can be overwhelming for some people. It’s really a shame. I think a lot of us have become so cynical these days that we assume if someone is that chipper she must want something. Persevere and give some of those friends a call. Well, at least the ones you feel like talking to.

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  7. We are so alike it’s scary. Except I think lately, I may have allowed myself to be pulled down. No more! I want to go back to paying for old lady’s groceries when they don’t know why their debit cards won’t work. Grinning like a dumbass for the fun of it. Screw what other people think.

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  8. You’re a perfectly good ‘you’ just the way you are. Never mind what other people may think or do. You can’t control them; you can only control you. Smile on!

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  9. My favourite expression “Smile, people will wonder what you have been up to”
    I love happy people, I love smiling, I sing and dance in the office. And I laugh…a lot.
    I complete people on their outfit, hair, perfume. I think you and I would get on well.
    As for the phone, I would just assume, knowing you are on a boat that it wasn’t a way to contact you easily.
    That said, my phone hardly ever rings either. My friends find it easier to facebook or text me mostly

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  10. I live life the same way that you do. I’m also generous with compliments and trust, and not everyone resonates with that. While I don’t have a gang of acquaintances, I do have a handful of friends who have walked with me through life for many years. I say be you, and fill your life with people who appreciate you.

    I once read (from Elizabeth Gilbert) that if you give someone more than they are capable of receiving that they will have no choice but to resent you for it. So save your gifts for those who can honor them.

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  11. Awesome post! I think some people are inherently suspicious of a person who presents themselves as happy and friendly, because positivity knocks down a few bricks to the wall that they’ve built up to protect them from hurt. It’s much easier to be closed and negative, than to open your heart to love and authenticity. But once you do, it’s a beautiful, enlightening world to live in.

    Keep on smiling and complimenting and being authentic – just keep being you :-)

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