Dolphin Dreams

I read in the paper recently that it’s impossible to have a nightmare about dolphins. I know I’ve never had one, dolphins truly symbolize the beautiful dance of life. At least they do for me.

Years ago, a good friend told me my spirit animal was the hummingbird. Small, present, ever moving, beautiful and always seeking the sweets in life. Although what she said rang true, and still does, I’m finding now I need to shift towards more stillness.

Yeah, I’m still meditating daily, can you tell?

I struggle with the total silence and stillness of mind during those 20 minutes, and I know it takes years of practice to achieve that level of meditation. But here is what I know: a- Even if I’m not entirely silent in the mind, meditation is doing wonders for me; and b- Often I will visualize myself in my sacred place — an inner lagoon within some cave with beams of light coming through, and turquoise water. I watch myself float, and as I’m watching this inner movie, I have no other thoughts coming in.

Today in meditation I pictured a dolphin finding me and joining me in this inner lagoon. A swirl and a dance between the dolphin and I happened. Fuck unicorns, dolphins are real and they don’t need to poop any glitter powder to show their magic!

As I trained in the art of clowning (shut up) my trainer debated between two costumes/personas for me. As my training progressed through the years, and as I changed as an individual,  my persona changed and so did her chosen costume for me. Could it be that my spirit animal is also shifting as I transition and journey through life?

And since when have I become so new agey? What the hell is going on with me? Who is this person that suddenly places her hand on her heart and vibrates to the sound of the leaves? Is this a mid-life crisis? Are these signs of being in the midst of what they call the hero’s journey?

I turn forty *nine today. Or as I like to call it: forty fucking nine. Am I a hummingbird or a dolphin? Can I be a little bit of both? What about you? Do you have a spirit animal? And how do you know for sure for sure what it is? And has it ever changed? Can I have a magic wand that will reveal my **patronus to me?

…………………………………………………..
*Forty nine: I just edited that, at first I wrote forty nice, now I’m thinking I should have left it in its original typo way. In life, there are no accidents.
**Patronus: It’s a Harry Potter thing…

When I grow up I will run away and join the circus…

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