A Year Ago Today… Thank you Facebook for the Daily Reminders

“What a difference a day makes. Twenty-four little hours…”
—Maríah Grever, translated by Stanley Adams.

Life is short. Unless you’re in the midst of a living hell, then even a second can be horrendous and appear forever long. But for us average folks, life is crazy short.

I’ve been getting daily reminders from Facebook via the “a year ago today” app. And what a difference an accumulation of three-hundred-and-sixty-five packages of twenty-four little hours can do to a person!

I recently bumped into a good roller derby friend. One whom I haven’t seen much because she left our league, but has now returned. She mentioned how much she loves everything I post on FB because it makes her feel so happy. She has invested a very soggy shoulder in my recovery to happiness on a chaotic and messy night during scrimmage once.

She was brave enough to scoop me up when I fell apart and lost my shit. She’s now a forever friend, like one who tosses a lifebuoy out to a stranger in treacherous waters.

I owe her one. I owe her to keep at it. What I’ve been doing? It’s working. The dancing. The writing. The mysterious and sudden art projects. And the laughing at myself and my silliness. It’s like a Betty Crocker recipe for the broken heart.

PB Sunset

Transitions. They are scary. But they’re necessary. They carry us to a better version of us. I’m still learning to let go. Still learning to accept myself fully for who I am with my quirky self, weirdness, and darkness included. Also still learning to forgive myself. That last one is a big step. It’s a huge step. It’s one I keep struggling with the most.

It’s also one in which I am making huge leaps!  This phase is coming to an end. It’s actually almost over – minus some of the ashes that are still found here and there.

wordpress-logo watercovered smallI took these two pictures yesterday after a beautiful long walk on the boardwalk with a new friend. How wonderful and timely that this week’s photo challenge is transition!

Being a Loner

Being a loner, I often wonder how people who surround themselves with others live their lives. I often wonder about their routines and how their days are filled.

When I was young, on the spur of the moment I’d call friends to ask them what they were doing right then and there. I wanted to know if they were pealing potatoes or making mixed tapes or talking to their mom about the birds and the bees. I needed to know!

Continue reading Being a Loner


When I got home that night, I noticed the smiling jack-o-lantern in my front yard was crushed.

And I was as crushed as the lantern. Yes the pumpkin had gone way beyond its life expectancy. It was wrinkled beyond recognition, the flies had long stopped buzzing around it. The flies had moved on, it was my turn. This was our last thing. Our last project together. Was I ready to move on? Continue reading Crushed

When I grow up I will run away and join the circus…


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