Meet Date Man #2
Him: “Hi, I’m Randy.”
Me: “Is that your name or your frame of mind?”
I knew we were off to a good start. He was tall, really tall, like over 6′ tall! After 12 years with a man measuring 5’9″ and weighing in, at his most, at 145 pounds, I thought the total contrast would be cool. Such as stepping-on-my-tippy-toes-to-kiss-a-man type of cool. It was cool, and different.
When I told him about my ex’s size his reaction shocked me “And you were attracted to him?” Wow, I never (ever-ever) thought someone could think a woman would not be interested in a man because of his height.
NOTE: Lesson one in online dating – women tend to snub their noses on men shorter than 6′.
I know, shocker. I’ve pretty much always been with men about 5’9″. The thought never occurred to me that the equivalent to a women’s bra size was a man’s height.
Welcome to dating in a new era Marie…
Back to Randy. And let’s cut through the chase here because my reason for not wanting to date him reminded me of Elaine’s reason for cutting men out of her life. (Seinfeld fans will follow me, anybody else is a fish out of water here.) For Elaine, the mere fact of not using the explanation point is enough to kick one out of her sponge-worthy list. My thing with Randy? He said retarded. A lot. I’m talking 15X-in-an-evening a lot. I could never introduce him to my friends!
What I will not do, at this age, is enter into a relationship by telling a guy how he needs to change. Or try explaining to my socially conscious group of friends why the guy I’m seeing is so clueless.
Is this where I am wrong? Should I factor the pros and the cons, and tell a guy “Listen, you need to stop saying that word all the time if we’re to date.” I mean, we had chemistry, and we laughed a lot. But then again, our conversations were limited. He liked telling me how cute and petite I was (in case I was unaware of my size, he reminded me of this. All the time.) And that was it. We didn’t really have much in common. So the R-word thing was maybe just the trigger, but we didn’t really seem to have much place to grow as a couple.
Then again, if I’m honest it was a big deciding factor. It’d be like if he was into the N-word. And said a lot. There’s no way I could date a guy who’d be that offensive and inconsiderate.
OK, so he was sweet. For a biker boy. He owned a Harley, and his apartment was filled with Harley-ware. Clock, corkscrew, cutting board, cups and mugs… Harley, Harley, Harley, and Harley. I’m not the biker bitch type. Unless we’re talking Schwinn. Then I can be a biker bitch type.
Randy texted me recently, just to see how I was doing, and wanted to say hi. See? He’s sweet. I told him I was seeing someone and things were going really well. I guess his text was to check in on me and see if I was still unavailable. Because that was the only reason I gave him for not seeing him anymore – the other guy.
Should I have elaborated? Or was it ok to just brush it off as a “there’ nothing wrong with you” kind of approach.